how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
