I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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