you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
