i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
