Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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