dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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