She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
