The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
