Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
