I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
