I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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