Your tits are I can't wait for
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
