hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
