apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
