i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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