Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
