Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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