we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating