FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
