Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
