____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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