if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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