the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
