fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
