I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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