I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
