How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
