I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize