Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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