So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize