she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
