I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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