Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
