I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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