i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
