And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
