i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
