Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
