i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
