Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just had sex bonerless
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
