New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
