I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
