I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
