haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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