ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize