I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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