I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
ONE! And it was was glorious!