we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
