I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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