I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
