4 words: hood of his car
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
