I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize