He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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