sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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